A few weeks back, I had an unfortunate experience with a man and my dogs. The man in question happened to be delivering phone books and in the course of his duties, he had to make sure (for whatever reason) that I received my copy. Apparently, there is a high theft rate with unclaimed yellow books. So, this guy decided to ring my doorbell, like 4 times in a minute and a half. At the time, I happened to be on the phone, I think he saw me through the window and that is why he was oh so persistent. His incessant ringing got my dogs into a frenzie and when I opened the door, it was hard to hear him mumble over the bark of Wrigley, my 130 lb. English Mastif/Boxer.
Anyway, after a not-so-friendly encounter and exchange, he left and I proceeded to take the yellow book he dropped on my steps and walk it right over to where I have kept all of the phone books I have received in the last 10 years or so…the trash! Acually, not to split hairs, but the recycling bin (gotta stay green).
Anyway, I had forgotten about that until yesterday, when, again…I got a new phone book. Apparently, in some sort of scheme to make money there is more than one company that produces these tree killing monstrosities. This guy just left it on my porch and I happened to trip over it while walking the aforementioned Wrigley.
Again, I took this 4 inch thick canary colored biblio and tossed it with the sales ads and thousands of Victoria Secret’s Catalogs that my wife receives daily in the recycling bin.
So…this morning, I get a phone call. It’s the phone book company (I’ll give you a hint, their name starts with a Y and ends in ellowbook). They were calling to confirm that I had received my all important phone book. I told them that I indeed had received it and politely asked them to take me off the recipient list in the future. She said, “Sure, thanks” and hung up. Cool.
About 20 minutes ago, I get another call…same company, this time they are reconfirming that I received the book and want to make sure that I have enough copies. At that point, I said…”Look, I know you have a job to do, but I haven’t opened a phone book since Al Gore invented the Internet and I learned the wonders of google!” Seriously, does anyone use a phone book anymore? If so, why? And a subset question, do you still use 8 track tapes, ‘cuz you’re old school? Do you drink new coke? I’m curious.
NO…nobody uses phone books. So while it took me awhile to get here, my post-digression point is: why are they still being ridiculously mass-produced? Is there some sort of “do not phone book” list? Like the (completely ineffective) “Do not call” list? I have searched, but to no avail.
So, let’s band together and start calling the phone companies…I figure it should only take us a week or so to call each and every one of them…
Ready…set…dial!
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